the dream of the dreamer.

You know the feeling you get when you find something that you love to do? The feeling that you could do that one thing, everyday, and stay completely happy? Well that is how I feel about acting. I do it without even meaning to. It is the one & only thing that I want to do. I find myself pulling my monologue book out of my purse & acting out multiple monologues, as multiple people, while I am sitting in my room. When people as me, "What do you want to do with your life?", or when I was younger it was, "What do you want to be when you grow up?", my answer was never what people expected, it was always, "I want to be an actress." As much as I love saying that, I love watching peoples reaction even more. I love the look on peoples faces when they realized that I am serious, that I actally expect to be one of the people that make it in that industry. Alot of people think that I am just a little girl that wants to be famous, and it is just a stage that I am going through. They are so wrong, and it makes me laugh to know that. It's not an, "I want to be famous!", kind of thing. My mom has always told me that if you love it and are passionate about it you can go your whole life being in the background and in films that do not make your name known, and you will still be happy. Well, that's where I'm at. I am willing to give up the life that I know just to give it a try. I love being able to become someone else. That is why when I meet new people, I sometimes introduce myself as someone else, I don't do it to "lie", I just enjoy being someone that I am not. It is the strangest, yet most amazing, thing to actually convince yourself that you are someone else. I know that the majority of people that read this will think that I am crazy, actually, the only person that I know will understand in my mom. She is the only person I know that shares this passion with me, I am beyond thankful that I have a mother and a bestfriend that understands how I feel. She believes in me, probably more than I believe in myself. So there you have it, acting is my passion. I love, live, &breathe it.

Te quiero.

I know...picking favorites is not a good thing to do. I'm sorry, I just can't help it. <3
This is Jazmin,



She stole my heart from day 1, seriously, she was the first one of the kids to come sit on my lap and hug me. I fell in love with this little girl immediately, and the best part was that she loved me back. I pretty much designated her as "my kid" during the trip, because anytime we were with the kids she was always right next to me, and I loved that! I love each & every one of those kids, I am not saying that I only paid attention to Jazmin. That was definitely not the case, I spent a ton of time with all of them and got to know each of them, not only by name, but I got to know their personalities. They are all so different, but they all possess such great qualities! I would give anything for all of the kids that I met during that amazing week, it is just that Jazmin stole my heart before I even knew what was happening. It was easy to become selfless when you were around all of those kids. All it took was a smile, that they were always more than willing to give, and you were wrapped around their little tiny finger! Oh, I could write forever about them all! Jazmin is a beautiful little girl that is more of a leader than anyone I have ever seen. She definitely likes to get her way, and she definitely thinks she is a princess, but that is more than okay because she is going to change the world someday and all those things she does that come off as being bossy are going to help her along the way. I love and miss that little girl more than you can understand, and I think about her all the time. Her pictures are all over my room, as our pictures of all my honduran babies, and they always make me smile. Those kids are constantly in my prayers and thoughts. Thanksgiving break cannot come soon enough! Te quiero mucho mucho mucho Jazmin! <3

Cutie!

This has nothing to do with anything, really. I just picked up my dog, Astro, from the doggie boarding place...and look how cute he is! I love him! :)

Decisions.

Everyone has a decision to make. Eventually, everyone will have to decide what is important to them. You make a choice to fit in, or to stand out. To sit quietly, or to cause a scene. To give up, give in, to give it all you've got. You decide where you stand, and where others think you do. You decide if you want to be sitting in the back, or standing on the front lines. You decide if you leave something behind once you are gone, or if you just leave this earth with nothing left behind. Personally, I have decided that nothing is as important to me as my relationship with the one and only living God. I have great people in my life, I have a wonderful family, fantastic friends, four amazing girls that I call my sisters, an amazing "niece" Ansley (soon to be joined by Macy!), and a boyfriend/bestfriend that always makes me smile, but the relationship I have with my God is far beyond those. I have decided to be on the front lines of the youth revival that I feel is coming. I have decided that fitting in will not get me anywhere in life, I chose to stand out for the One who forever changed my life. I refuse to look to man for approval, I know whose I am and that my Father always has my back. I decided to stand strong in my faith, all the time, because eventually it could be all I have left. I decided not to look to the right or the left, but to keep my eyes focused on Jesus, and I decided to let Him guide and direct my path. I honestly don't know why I decided to write this on here, except the fact that I wish everyone decided the same things I did. A blog is about just writing what you feel, right? So, in that case, I guess I am doing something right. <3

If home is where the heart is..

My heart longs for Didasko Childrens Home, in Honduras, on the outskirts of Tegucigalpa. Not only did the children there capture my heart, but they kept it with them when I left. The trip I made to Honduras was truly life changing. I realized alot of things. I realized that the love of God is so similiar to the love of those children, they were not phased by your race or your appearance, nor were they concerned with the lifestyle you lived, or the people you associated with, or the amount of money that you possessed, they simply loved you, for you. I realized that language is not a barrier, because happiness & love are the same in every language. These babies spoke very broken english, their first language was spanish. Therefore I could not converse with them about life, school, their past, or their future, as much as I would have liked to. Dispite the difference in our languages the love for those kids was the same as the love between me and any english speaking child. A smile, a hug, a laugh, and a kiss mean the same no matter what language I speak. I realized that it is possible to give your heart away to someone in a way that is different than you normally place that phrase with. Those kids captured my heart, and I miss and think about them everyday, therefore I have given my heart to them. I realized that it is very possible to love someone within a week of meeting them , like what happened with these kids. I was there for 1 week, and in that week I met every one of them, knew them by name, and was in love with them all. In one week I found a love for all of Honduras that I never knew I had. In one week I realized my love for missions, and orphanages, and everyone that goes along with those. In one week I learned how to put someone, well, 28 little someones, ahead of myself. In one week I realized that God loves the "throw away babies" more than we can fathom, and that each and every one of them will grow up and become godly men & women, and will become missionaries in their very own country. I realized that my life will never be the same after that trip to Honduras. I am going back during the Thanksgiving break, and I cannot wait to see all of their beautiful, smiling faces.

eventually

Maybe one of these days I will have something important to say.