Stop vs Go

Have you ever felt like you were totally standing still? That there is so much you should be doing, but it just simply is not happening and you feel there is nothing you can do about it? I feel this way quite often. Maybe the time is not quite right, and maybe I will begin to move forward when the time is right, but that does not change the fact that at the moment, I am standing still. I think my want to go on forward keeps me from realizing that this is not the time to do so. When doors open, they open. When they don't, they don't. That's the way it is, unfortunately. Is that true? Can you not open your own doors? I am not sure, although I would really like to try it. What do you do when the one thing you really want seems to be getting closer all the time, but never close enough? I do not know, but I definitely know that standing still will never get you where you want to go. So the question remains: Is a temporary standstill a good thing when it mean that, eventually, you will get where you are going? Or should you try to open your own doors, even at the risk of the ultimate failure?

On a scale of 1 to 10..

I have not blogged in a while, but this is something that I have been hearing alot lately and it is bothering me. I have heard people referring to others saying that they are "not as Christian" as someone else. I hate that, really. There should be no scale of how Christian someone is. Either you are or you arent. It is that simple. Either you live your life according to what God calls you to do and there is evidence in your everyday life that proves that you are a follower of Christ, or not. I think people have defaulted their religion to "Christian" when they do not feel like they should say "Athiest" and "Hindu" or anything else. Christianity is not a default that sounds good to put in your info section on Facebook. People say that they are Christians, when really, they have never given themselves over to Jesus Christ. I am seriously not being judgemental or anything, I swear. I just think that if you are going to be a Christian by default, just leave the "religion" box blank. It is disrespectful for people to be living they way they are and professing to be a follower of Jesus. It cannot be that way. Either you live your life for yourself or you live it for the One that created you. You simply cannot do both. I love seeing people turn their lives around and live for Jesus, but it aggravates me that people will say they are Christians when really, they just need something to fill in the box that say "Religious Views: _______"

Dear Satan,

I hate you. I understand that you are mad because some pretty amazing things have been going on at the Drive Center, but your little "plan" to try and stop it isn't going to work. So just give up.

I'm thinking that,

since I have nothing important, or powerful, to say. I will just tell you about my past three days.
Well Wednesday, I woke up at 7a.m., which is extremely early. If you are wondering why I was up early, it it because my friend Caitlyn wanted to take pictures of my friend Madison & Myself.
Here are a few of the picture she took:






Then, I went over to Megans house to spend some time with Ansley Grace :)
I didn't spend all of my time with Ansley, I got some Macy time too :)

I ended up staying over there for quite a long time, since church got cancelled because the AC was broken. Then some lady brought Megan some food, so we ate it. Then we played wheele of fortune (and won, I might add), and watched Big Brother. All together, I had a wonderful day with Megan, Macy, Ansley, Jessica, and Andrew.

Yesterday, I woke up & got ready to spend the day with my wonderful mother! We started our day at Olive Garden, where we both ordered the fantastic soup & salad! After eating we headed to the mall! I needed to finish up my school shopping, so I just went and got a few things. Oh, I got the CUTEST shoes, they are hot pink vans. I love them. While at the mall, I went to Journeys to visit my friend Cami, she works there. It was a great trip filled with cute clothes, sweet shoes, boba juice, camizea, and a wonderful mommy! Once we were home, I took a wonderfun nap! Then I woke up & prepared myself to watch what was the BEST Big Brother episode ever!! Jackson came over & we all ate, watched BB, and then played the Wii. What a great day.

Then today I had my lunch date with my Daddy, which was great as always. I am going to the movies tonight with J, but that is about all for today. Today is my last friday of summer, & I am pretty depressed just thinking about it.


OkayyyyyyyBYE! <3

Today,

has been a great day so far! I am sure its greatness will continue throughout the day! :) I have nothing really important to say, but maybe one of these days I will.
I spend too much time on the internet, but that is okay! :) find me on facebook & twitter!


ps. someone emailed me & told me they liked my blog, but I deleted it before I even opened it, on accident of course. so if it was you, i'm sorry for not responding. you can send it again if you would like, my email address is haley_nicole2012@yahoo.com

pure joy.

Today, well it is 1:30am so technically yesterday, my "sister" Megan had her second child! She is a beautiful, 6lbs, 15oz, 19in, baby girl named Macy Cate Toohey! I am going to see her in the morning, and I absolutely cannot wait!! Her oldest child, Ansley Grace, is 20 months old. She is the little love of my life, seriously! I love that little girl, and I am sure I will love Macy just as much :) Not only is their mom my "big sister" & my bestfriend, but her kids also bring so much joy to my life!
I will upload a picture of Macy later, blogger is being stupid & not letting me upload anything. Anyway, I am seriously so blessed to be able to watch these amazing babies grow up! I have watched Ans go from a helpless tiny infant to a very independent todler! I have seen her cute little personality develop & I have went from being a random girl to "A-ley" and it is the best thing ever! She is so freaking cute! I wish I could write down all the stories of all the cute/hilarious things she has done but I don't have enough time. Anyway, I love her with all of my heart! I cannot wait to continue to watch her grow up to be the amazing woman she is going to be! Then there is Macy, who is like, a day old. I love her already! I am definitely looking forward to developing a relationship with her like the one I have with Ansie! I cannot imagine my life without these two little girls! Even though I am not technically their aunt, they will always be so important to me! I will always see them as my family! It makes me a little sad when I think about how fast Ansley is growing up, but I love the age she is right now! The age where she definiely has her own opinion about things, but she is hilarious & always makes me laugh! Plus, she is so sweet with her little hugs! I love when she says, "a-ley! a-ley!", because I know that I am more to her than some random girl. Okay, well, I am just really excited about Macy, like to the point that I can't sleep, so I decided to blog about the reason I am so excited! MACY CATE IS HEREEEEEEEEEE!!! I am soooooo excited about going to see her tomorrow! I honestly cannot wait! So, here's to life. To many years, &to the life that has just started. All that being said, I guess I can end on a simple note... Ansley Grace & Macy Cate... I love love love you!

today

Sometimes, although not very often, I have nothing to say.

OMG, no way!

Wow, it is truly the most amazing thing to be able to see the things of God happening right infront of you! There was a prophecy given over my youth group a few years ago & NOW it is happening! The prophecy was that we will be the youth that changes our city, and that at LCM stadium there will be a HUGE revival! I am huge!! Like the football stadium would be full of kids & they would be throwing down their drugs and razors and all of that stuff and leaving it there! Now, that is a very big responsibility. Today my youth pastor announced that just today they got a call from a man at LCM school district and he asked if we would have a youth rally in their stadium!! OMG! He had no idea about the prophecy, or anything like that! It is just total conformation that God is moving in mighty ways amoung us, the youth. I cannot wait for this even to come to pass! I know that I have a BiG God that can take any situation & change it to good. I know He has huge plans for us, and now is the time! WOOHOO!

Augusto.

Summer is coming to a close, which means I am about to re-enter my biggest mission field. I know that I have got to go back to school & someone other than the person I left as. I have got to go in with a heart for the lost, and with a boldness & passion beyond that that I already had. I have got to keep myself focused on the things of God, all the time. I have to remember that the people I hang around with, the clothes I wear, the status I have, do not define me. God must be the place that I find my acceptance & the only one that I seek the approval of. The way I act, and the way I talk must always reflect Him. In order for me to accomplish what is expected of me this year I cannot fall into the pattern of the quiet Christian. I must live a bold, passionate, and outrageous life for God. Life isn't easy sometimes, but I know that I am never alone. I know that God will never put me up against something that I cannot handle. I also know that He is the only thing that never changes. I place my trust in the unchanging God & all the promises he has given me. I know that He is my shield, my strength, my strong tower, and my bestfriend. Keep me in your prayers throughout the year, I have alot that is asked of me. I have big things to do this year, and I am beyond excited about it! I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me, my school, my city, and my world. I know a big change is coming, & I know I will be a part of it.

the dream of the dreamer.

You know the feeling you get when you find something that you love to do? The feeling that you could do that one thing, everyday, and stay completely happy? Well that is how I feel about acting. I do it without even meaning to. It is the one & only thing that I want to do. I find myself pulling my monologue book out of my purse & acting out multiple monologues, as multiple people, while I am sitting in my room. When people as me, "What do you want to do with your life?", or when I was younger it was, "What do you want to be when you grow up?", my answer was never what people expected, it was always, "I want to be an actress." As much as I love saying that, I love watching peoples reaction even more. I love the look on peoples faces when they realized that I am serious, that I actally expect to be one of the people that make it in that industry. Alot of people think that I am just a little girl that wants to be famous, and it is just a stage that I am going through. They are so wrong, and it makes me laugh to know that. It's not an, "I want to be famous!", kind of thing. My mom has always told me that if you love it and are passionate about it you can go your whole life being in the background and in films that do not make your name known, and you will still be happy. Well, that's where I'm at. I am willing to give up the life that I know just to give it a try. I love being able to become someone else. That is why when I meet new people, I sometimes introduce myself as someone else, I don't do it to "lie", I just enjoy being someone that I am not. It is the strangest, yet most amazing, thing to actually convince yourself that you are someone else. I know that the majority of people that read this will think that I am crazy, actually, the only person that I know will understand in my mom. She is the only person I know that shares this passion with me, I am beyond thankful that I have a mother and a bestfriend that understands how I feel. She believes in me, probably more than I believe in myself. So there you have it, acting is my passion. I love, live, &breathe it.

Te quiero.

I know...picking favorites is not a good thing to do. I'm sorry, I just can't help it. <3
This is Jazmin,



She stole my heart from day 1, seriously, she was the first one of the kids to come sit on my lap and hug me. I fell in love with this little girl immediately, and the best part was that she loved me back. I pretty much designated her as "my kid" during the trip, because anytime we were with the kids she was always right next to me, and I loved that! I love each & every one of those kids, I am not saying that I only paid attention to Jazmin. That was definitely not the case, I spent a ton of time with all of them and got to know each of them, not only by name, but I got to know their personalities. They are all so different, but they all possess such great qualities! I would give anything for all of the kids that I met during that amazing week, it is just that Jazmin stole my heart before I even knew what was happening. It was easy to become selfless when you were around all of those kids. All it took was a smile, that they were always more than willing to give, and you were wrapped around their little tiny finger! Oh, I could write forever about them all! Jazmin is a beautiful little girl that is more of a leader than anyone I have ever seen. She definitely likes to get her way, and she definitely thinks she is a princess, but that is more than okay because she is going to change the world someday and all those things she does that come off as being bossy are going to help her along the way. I love and miss that little girl more than you can understand, and I think about her all the time. Her pictures are all over my room, as our pictures of all my honduran babies, and they always make me smile. Those kids are constantly in my prayers and thoughts. Thanksgiving break cannot come soon enough! Te quiero mucho mucho mucho Jazmin! <3

Cutie!

This has nothing to do with anything, really. I just picked up my dog, Astro, from the doggie boarding place...and look how cute he is! I love him! :)

Decisions.

Everyone has a decision to make. Eventually, everyone will have to decide what is important to them. You make a choice to fit in, or to stand out. To sit quietly, or to cause a scene. To give up, give in, to give it all you've got. You decide where you stand, and where others think you do. You decide if you want to be sitting in the back, or standing on the front lines. You decide if you leave something behind once you are gone, or if you just leave this earth with nothing left behind. Personally, I have decided that nothing is as important to me as my relationship with the one and only living God. I have great people in my life, I have a wonderful family, fantastic friends, four amazing girls that I call my sisters, an amazing "niece" Ansley (soon to be joined by Macy!), and a boyfriend/bestfriend that always makes me smile, but the relationship I have with my God is far beyond those. I have decided to be on the front lines of the youth revival that I feel is coming. I have decided that fitting in will not get me anywhere in life, I chose to stand out for the One who forever changed my life. I refuse to look to man for approval, I know whose I am and that my Father always has my back. I decided to stand strong in my faith, all the time, because eventually it could be all I have left. I decided not to look to the right or the left, but to keep my eyes focused on Jesus, and I decided to let Him guide and direct my path. I honestly don't know why I decided to write this on here, except the fact that I wish everyone decided the same things I did. A blog is about just writing what you feel, right? So, in that case, I guess I am doing something right. <3

If home is where the heart is..

My heart longs for Didasko Childrens Home, in Honduras, on the outskirts of Tegucigalpa. Not only did the children there capture my heart, but they kept it with them when I left. The trip I made to Honduras was truly life changing. I realized alot of things. I realized that the love of God is so similiar to the love of those children, they were not phased by your race or your appearance, nor were they concerned with the lifestyle you lived, or the people you associated with, or the amount of money that you possessed, they simply loved you, for you. I realized that language is not a barrier, because happiness & love are the same in every language. These babies spoke very broken english, their first language was spanish. Therefore I could not converse with them about life, school, their past, or their future, as much as I would have liked to. Dispite the difference in our languages the love for those kids was the same as the love between me and any english speaking child. A smile, a hug, a laugh, and a kiss mean the same no matter what language I speak. I realized that it is possible to give your heart away to someone in a way that is different than you normally place that phrase with. Those kids captured my heart, and I miss and think about them everyday, therefore I have given my heart to them. I realized that it is very possible to love someone within a week of meeting them , like what happened with these kids. I was there for 1 week, and in that week I met every one of them, knew them by name, and was in love with them all. In one week I found a love for all of Honduras that I never knew I had. In one week I realized my love for missions, and orphanages, and everyone that goes along with those. In one week I learned how to put someone, well, 28 little someones, ahead of myself. In one week I realized that God loves the "throw away babies" more than we can fathom, and that each and every one of them will grow up and become godly men & women, and will become missionaries in their very own country. I realized that my life will never be the same after that trip to Honduras. I am going back during the Thanksgiving break, and I cannot wait to see all of their beautiful, smiling faces.

eventually

Maybe one of these days I will have something important to say.